


Fearful Symmetry

by Sabishiioni



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood, Durin Family Feels, Gen, Self-Harm, Short Chapters, Triggering Material
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabishiioni/pseuds/Sabishiioni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili fears not being strong enough for his family. In a quest to take back the home of his ancestors he finally has the chance to prove himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wants and Needs

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit  
> Warnings: Read them  
> Follow Me:[Tumblr](http://sabishiioni.tumblr.com/)  
> Mindless Babble: I know this has been done like a billion times, but this was actually the first fanfic I started for this fandom. I actually wrote this one alongside "Brotherhood" (Which was taken down for a re-write to be more cannon compliant.). I decided to post this, even though it's not done. It relies heavily on the movies (which I enjoyed more than the book) and so, this is kinda part one of three. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, even if it is an over used theme.

“He’s not old enough…”

“He’s of age, Dis.”

The deep baritone voice woke Kili and he leaped from his bed making his way to the living room. It had been a long time since Thorin had stopped by for a visit and he was eager to hear more of his uncle’s stories of the lands he visited. The young dwarf was stopped short, when he heard his mother’s reply.

“In physical age, barely. But he is too immature to do what you ask of him. He still feels that bow of his is an excellent weapon.”

There was a pause before Thorin replied. “Perhaps this quest would cure him of that affection.”

Kili felt his heat sink a little. No one knew of his skill with his beloved weapon, not even his brother. He was sure that he would be a match even for an elven archer, but also knew that boast would only earn him ridicule. And now… He turned to leave but froze at his uncle‘s words.

“You know one will not go without the other. I need Fili at my side and he will only come if Kili is allowed.”

Dis sighed. “I know. I…I just fear he will get his brother killed. You know how protective Fili is of him.”

“I do.” Thorin looked to the entryway, his warrior senses telling him that something was wrong. Before he could take a step, Dis spoke again.

“I’m not sure what I would do without Fili. He is so much like his father that sometimes I feel like I never lost my husband.”

Tears started to well up in the young dwarf’s eyes. His father had died when he was an infant and thus he had no memory of him. He knew that Fili was next in line for the throne but he hadn‘t known his mother felt that way about him. He turned and made his way back to his bedroom. There he quickly dressed and grabbed his bow and quiver of arrows. He was about to slip out the back door when his brother emerged from his own room.

“Kili? What’s wrong? I thought I heard Thorin’s voice…”

The dark haired dwarf nodded, not looking at his brother. “Yes…he’s here- he’s talking with mother. I think they both would like to speak with you.” Without waiting for an answer, he slipped out the door, leaving his confused brother wondering what just happened.

***  
It was dark when Kili returned from his hidden practice range where he had spent the day shooting arrow after arrow. It hadn’t help to eliminate the voices of his mother and uncle from his memory and the tears had run freely down his cheeks. 

“Kili?” He flinched, bracing for a tongue lashing from his mother about being gone all day. She appeared at the entry to the kitchen and smiled at him, a beautiful jeweled hairpin in her dark hair, one Kili had never seen before. “Go wash up for dinner. Your uncle is joining us tonight.”

He lowered his eyes and said nothing as he moved to his room to drop off his bow and get cleaned up. She hadn’t even noticed he had been absent for so long. He poured water into the basin and splashed some water on his face, removing the salty lines from his cheeks. He heard the soft knock at his door before his brother entered.

“Kili? Are you alright? I went looking for you this afternoon, but couldn’t find you.”

The younger brother nodded, not turning to look at Fili. “I’m fine. Just thought I’d give you and Thorin a chance to talk.”

Fili sat on his brother’s bed. “We did talk…about a quest to regain Erebor.”

That actually caught Kili’s attention and things clicked into place. No wonder his mother was so reluctant to let him leave with Thorin. “Oh. Will you be going?”

Fili tilted his head to look at his brother. “Will you come with me?”

“Am…I…” He struggled with the words. “Does Thorin want me to come?”

“Of course he does!”

Though he knew otherwise, it was nice to hear those words from his brother. He swallowed hard before his next question. “Do…do you want me to come?”

Fili’s eyes widened with surprise and more than a little confusion. “Why are you asking me that? You know the answer…”

“Please? I just need to hear you say it.” Kili mentally kicked himself for the pleading tone in his voice. 

Fili stood and strode over to his brother, turning him before wrapping his arms tightly around him. “Yes, Kili. I want you to come with me. I need my brother at my side.”

Horrified by the soft sob that escaped him, Kili clung to his bewildered brother’s fur lined coat.


	2. A Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Read them  
> Mindless Babble:

Fili held his brother, completely confused. Try as hard as he might, he couldn’t fathom what had happen to make his normally happy go lucky brother such a wreck. They had gone to bed smiling with plans of going hunting in the forest that surrounded their village come morning and everything had appeared to be fine.

“Kili? Are you upset that we didn’t go hunting today?” His baby brother shook his head, face still buried in the fur. “Then what has you so upset? Please, talk to me…”

Kili suddenly pulled away from him, still not looking up. “We should get going. Mother will be angry if we keep Thorin waiting.”

He took his brother’s wrist. “Not until you tell me what happened.”

“It…it’s nothing - just…my own foolishness.”

“Then look at me.” It took a few seconds for those dark eyes to lift from the floor. Fili’s heart hitched to see them so reddened and the tear streaks that traced his brother’s high cheek bones. He reached over to the basin stand and picked up the damp cloth. “It won’t do to have mother and Thorin see you like this.”

Kili finally smiled and allowed his brother to wash his face.

***  
That night, dinner was a strained affair. At least it was to Fili. He couldn’t help but to notice that his brother was so much quieter than usual. He only spoke when spoken to, which is to say, he only responded when Fili asked him questions. If Thorin noticed, he said nothing. Neither did his mother.

“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well.” Kili stood up and took his nearly full bowl of stew to the sink before he fled to his room. 

Two sets of eyes followed him; one concerned, one appraising. 

***  
Fili surreptitiously glanced about for his brother. He sighed inwardly, seeing no sign of Kili. His bed had been empty that morning when Fili had gone to wake him for breakfast, bow and quiver once again missing as well. He turned his gaze back to the brown and white pony his uncle was saddling, stroking the soft nose.

“I have a gift for you, Fili.”

The young dwarf looked at Thorin, surprised. The elder dwarf took a thin, wooden box from his saddle bag and handed it to Fili with a smile.

“I hope you like them. I made them myself.”

Fili open the case to reveal a set of matching daggers. The silver blades were etched with dwarf runes while each dark wood handles were inlaid with semiprecious gems. Blue eyes widened in pure delight.

“They are beautiful, Thorin! Thank you!”

His uncle’s soft expression was one that was reserved only for his family. “I thought they would be fitting for my heir.”

Fili’s expression faltered for a second as he caught sight of a darting shade from the corner of his eye. A Kili shaped silhouette that blended with morning shadows.  
Still, one look at his gift and his smile returned.

“I’ll bring them with me when we join you in the Shire.”

Thorin smiled proudly. “Then until we meet again.” He kissed his sister on the cheek and mounted his pony. With one last look at the house, perhaps sensing another presence, he took off.

***  
He waited until his mother had gone back inside before he called out. “Kili…?”

His brother crept from the darkness cast by the house and approached him. “May…may I see them?”

Fili opened the wooden box again, watching his sibling’s expression. Dark eyes widened in awe as he took in the beautiful weapons. One hand came up as if to touch them, but stopped just short. His hand made a fist and he jerked it back. A strange look of sadness ghosted across the young dwarf’s features.

“They are beautiful, Fili- truly fitting an heir of Durin.”

“Then you should take and carry one as well.”

Kili recoiled as if struck. “Thorin gave them to you. He wouldn’t want you to break the set.”

Fili blinked, still feeling like he had missed something really important. “But you are my brother and also an heir.”

Dark hair brushed pale cheeks. “No, you are next in line, making you the true descendent. I…am just the other one.”

Closing the box, he set it on the rocky ground. “Kili, why won’t you look at me? I’ve hardly seen you in the past day. You’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry…” Fili could see that his brother was struggling with something and hoped Kili would finally talk about what was bothering him. His hope was shattered when Kili asked, “When do we leave?”

Trying to keep the disappointment from his voice, Fili answered. “In a week. Thorin is going to a meeting of the seven clans up north first.”

Kili nodded, asking so very softly, “Can I bring my bow?”

“Of course you can. But please bring your sword as well.”

Kili finally looked at his brother, a sad smile on his lips. “I know. I need to at least pretend to be a dwarf, right?”

Fili winced inwardly as the teasing words he had so often and casually thrown at his brother were handed back to him in such a manner. He opened his mouth to respond, but Kili was already hurrying inside and to safety of his bedroom.

He sighed and picked up his new daggers. It was only then that he realized that there had been no gift from his uncle for his brother.


	3. The Shire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Read them  
> Mindless Babble:

“Looks like we’re coming up on the outskirts of Hobbiton.”

Kili grinned as he stood up in the stirrups, as if he could see over the green hill. “Good! I wonder who will be there. Do you think Mister Dwalin will show up?”

Fili chuckled, enjoying the fact that his brother seemed to be back to his old self. Time spent on the road had done wonders for Kili, seemingly restoring his confidence and playfulness. They had traveled slowly, taking their time, even spending entire days simply playing and having mock battles.

“Oh, I’m sure he will, along with his brother Balin. They are some of Uncle’s closest companions.”

Kili dropped back down to the saddle and looked at the dwarf next to him. “I wonder if Bombur will be there. He’s also a close friend of Uncle‘s but, I very much doubt he would enjoy making such a long trip.”

“True, but I think loyalty will win out and he will answer the call. If he can fit through the door, that is!” They both laughed, remembering their rather large and round friend. “Of course that means that Bofur and Bifur will be there too.”

“Bofur… he was the toymaker, right?”

Fili nodded. “Aye. I know you don’t remember it, but he was the one that made you that galloping horse toy when you were born.”

“I loved that thing!” Kili fell silent, but his brother could tell he was remembering the horse that had legs that would move if the button on its back was pressed. Even now, it still held a place of honor on the shelf over the young dwarf’s bed. Judging by the expression on the younger’s face, the elder brother guessed Kili was wondering if he would ever see the toy again. Kili shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts.

“I wonder if Bifur still speaks in the ancient tongue…”

“Aye, poor guy. I’m still curious on how in Middle Earth he survived that axe to the head.”

Fili shrugged. “Their family has especially hard heads?”

Chuckling, they came to the Inn of the Green Dragon. Both of them stared at the sign after they dismounted, a little dismayed at the irony of it all. Kili was the one to voice what they were both thinking.

“How daft is this wizard?”

Fili laughed softly. “To be fair, this is the only lodging in the area, so it’s not really Gandalf’s fault.”

Kili sighed and followed his brother inside. Fili snorted in amusement as they looked around the tavern. They were the tallest ones there.

“Do you think this is what it feels like to be an elf?” Kili quipped.

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Fili gestured to a table. “Get us a place to sit. I think we deserve a round before we try to find this meeting place.”

Watching his brother make his way to a table near the roaring fire, Fili grinned to himself. There was a bounce of excitement in Kili’s step that hadn’t been there when they had left their home two weeks prior. He turned and went to the barkeep to order their ales.

“So which of the thirteen are ya?”

Fili raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“You’re a dwarf, aren’t ya? Gandalf has messages for all o’ ya. So which one are ya?” The grumpy looking barkeeper glared impatiently at a stack of envelopes. 

“Um… I’m Fili and he’s Kili….”

The old hobbit rolled his eyes at the names, but pulled out two messages. “Here. Anything else I can get for ya?”

“Aye- two ales.”

The hobbit pulled two steins full of ale and handed them over, taking Fili’s coin without a word. Shrugging it off as the hobbit’s general disdain for anything out of the ordinary, he took the mugs and letters over to the small table. Kili took his drink gratefully. Fili sat down across from him and slid the envelope with his brother’s name on it across the table.

“What’s this?”

Fili shrugged as he took a gulp before opening his envelope. “Guess Gandalf left us all instructions.”

Kili grunted as he opened his, reading it silently. After he was done, the crumpled it up and threw it in the fire. Fili did the same with his.

“Instructions for finding the place?”

Kili nodded, staring into the amber liquid. Fili bit the inside of his lip. His letter had contained more than just that and he had a feeling that his brother’s did as well. He looked down at his own drink, thinking about what the wizard had written after the instructions to a “Mister Bilbo Baggin’s” home.

_“Be mindful of your brother. He is both stronger and weaker than you know.”_

“The barman said there were thirteen letters for dwarves.”

Kili looked up, the haunted shadow in his eyes disappearing. “Thirteen?! That’s great! A little bit unlucky, but I suppose that’s why we’re meeting this hobbit, right? To make him the fourteenth member?”

Fili nodded. “That would sound right. Although…”

“What?” Kili looked at him worriedly.

“These people… well, hobbits in general, seem to be a quiet race. I’m not convinced that they would have the heart for this quest.”

Kili looked around. There was a group of farmers in the corner talking about some harvest festival that was coming up. In the middle of the room, several men folk spoke of local politics, one bouncing a curly hair baby on his knee. Barmaids gathered around an old hobbit who was telling stories with great gusto. The dwarf noted that there was not a single hobbit in the place that had no one to talk to. Even the grumpy barman was chatting with an elder hobbit at the end of the bar.

“They do seem to be a …peaceful folk.” He turned back to his brother. “Do we have the right to disrupt their life like this?”

“I honestly can’t answer that, Kili. Perhaps this Bilbo is some sort of renegade or something?” He shrugged. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

Kili grinned and raised his stein. “Then here’s to Mister Baggins! May he be the best burglar in the Shire!”

Laughing, Fili tapped his brother’s mug with his own before drinking deeply.


	4. It Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit  
> Warnings: Read them  
> Mindless Babble:

Fili watched as his brother quietly swept the hall. He shook his head, wondering how it had all gone so wrong. The night had started well enough, with good food, old and new friends and plenty of laughter. He couldn’t remember a time when he had seen Kili laugh as hard as he had at dinner. His heart had swelled with pride as he watched the budding friendship between his sibling and Ori, the youngest dwarf besides them. It had all come to an end when Thorin arrived.

Kili had eagerly pushed forward to see his uncle only to be ignored by him. He had even tried to contribute to the conversation from his tight position between Fili and Bombur. Still, Thorin had said nothing to either of them.

He knelt, holding the dust pan. “We certainly made a mess of the place, didn’t we?”

Kili smiled softly. “Yes, we did. I’m sure Bilbo will be happy to see us gone in the morning.”

“You don’t think he’ll be coming with us?”

“Fili, he fainted at just the mention of a dragon.”

“Yes, but Bofur wasn’t exactly helping…”

They both chuckled as they finished sweeping the floors. “That song Thorin sang… It made me feel like I was there.”

Fili nodded, completely agreeing with his brother. “It made me want to see Erabor with my own eyes instead of everyone else’s eyes.”

“I can’t wait to see it with you, Fili.”

Smiling, he gave his younger brother a one armed hug. “Let’s throw this out and then get some sleep. Thorin wants to be on the road by noon and we still have to pick up supplies.”

They finished cleaning up before heading to their bedrolls by the warm hearth. They fell asleep listening to the soft tones of their uncle speaking with the wizard.

***  
Fili watched as his brother disappeared into the darkness. The day had progressed fairly well, with Bilbo running to catch up to them. He and his brother had made a tidy sum on the wager, as Kili had suggested that they each take a side and then split their winnings. 

Then they had teased the hobbit after settling in for the night. Fili remembered feeling his chest tighten as Thorin berated his brother. Some of the light that had finally been returning to those dark brown eyes disappeared at the dwarf‘s harsh words. Though Balin‘s story had softened the blow, Fili knew his brother was still hurting.

He chewed the inside of his lip wondering if he should follow the young dwarf, but decided against it. Kili was probably just doing his business and would return shortly. Instead, Fili set about checking his weapons. He pulled the daggers first, reluctant to have Kili around to see them. He kept them tucked away, not wanting to witness the expression of sadness on his brother’s face when he saw them. Satisfied that they were still sharp and battle ready, he sheathed them and moved onto his other weapons.

Time passed and Fili finished inspecting every one of his blades, yet Kili still had not returned. Swallowing the fear that was starting to take hold of him, he got to his feet. Bofur, who had first watch, turned to him, surprised that there was anyone still awake.

“Ye should be sleeping.”

“I will when Kili comes back.”

An eyebrow arched from under the furry hat. “I thought he was passed out with ye?”

Fili shook his head. “He took off some time ago. He should have been back…”

Just as he started towards the trees where he had last seen his brother, Kili silently came up beside him.

“Kili! Where have you been?”

“I just needed some time. Alone.”

Bofur smiled at the pair. “Alone time is something that’ll become scarce the further along we go. Enjoy it while you can!” He chuckled and returned to his watch.

Sighing, Fili led the way to their bedrolls. He could swear Kili was paler but hoped it was just a trick of the fire light. He was sure he saw his brother shivering, though. Smiling, he pulled the younger dwarf to his chest when they went to lie down.

“It’s cold out tonight. I have a bad feeling it’ll rain tomorrow.”

Kili silently nodded, curling into his brother’s warm fur lined coat. He was asleep in minutes, which troubled Fili a bit. The day had not been that hard of a ride, so why was Kili so tired? He shook his head, deciding he was too comfortable and sleepy to think about that problem right then. He would ask his brother in the morning.

He yawned and several minutes later, he was asleep with Kili wrapped in his arms.


	5. Thorin's Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Fluff ...No really. Stop laughing.  
> Mindless Babble: I totally forgot there was a chapter between the last one and this one, so you can all breath easy at least for this week. Also, I apologize for the lateness. Apparently not being able to breath for a month because the next state over can't kick the habit of smoking can make one some what ill.

Thorin rode silently in the middle of the line, listening with half an ear as Gandalf spoke of the other wizards, although he did chuckle at Bilbo’s question about the brown wizard. Mostly his thoughts were on his sister-sons and his decision to bring them along. 

He was confident that Fili would be an asset to the company. Thorin had seen his skills with the many blades he carried during training sessions when he visited his family. He was not so sure about Kili. His young nephew could handle a sword well enough, though he had nowhere near the skill of his brother. He had yet to see either of them in true combat, but his eldest nephew carried himself with a bearing that spoke of a true warrior. His youngest carried himself like a playful child. Thorin feared that it would be that trait that would get him killed.

A glance behind him softened his heart somewhat. The brothers rode side by side, with Fili casting concerned glances at his sibling. Kili huddled inside his cloak, his teal blue hood obscuring features not already hidden by his soaked, unbraided hair. He had been unusually quiet all day, simply doing what he was told and gathering his things. Even Fili had trouble coaxing his brother to speak.

Thorin sighed. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh the young dwarf. He could hear his sister’s voice in his head, chiding him for holding onto the past as much as he did. Wiping some of the rain from his face, he made up his mind to at least speak to Kili when they found a suitable camp ground.

Hours later, they found shelter in an overhanging cliff that spared them from the rain and allowed Gloin to build a fire. Thorin moved off to the side, still under the shelf but far enough away from the huddled group to at least offer some privacy.

“Kili- a word?” He scowled, seeing the look of terror in the young dwarf’s eyes before he lowered them and slowly made his way over to Thorin. The scowl deepened as he notice just how slowly the young dwarf moved and how he held his left arm with his right. 

“Are you injured?” 

“No…I’m fine. I just tweaked my wrist when we were unloading the ponies.”

Thorin believed that as much as he believed that Bilbo could be a burglar but said nothing more on the subject. “I wanted to apologize to you for my outburst last night. I should not have been so harsh.”

Kili shook his head. “No, Unc- Thorin. What you did was right. I should not have made light of something so horrible. I was foolish.”

“It was horrible and I pray to Durin that you never have to face something like a night raid by orcs. However, it does not excuse what I said to you. I am sorry if I hurt you with my words.”

Dark eyes finally came up to look at him, perhaps hearing the sincerity in his voice. “Then…apology accepted, though I still don‘t feel that you owe me one.”

Thorin smiled at his young nephew. “I would also ask that you never speak of this to your mother. She would have my hide for yelling at you like that.”

A small smile played on Kili’s lips. “Are you afraid of Mother, Uncle?”

Pleased to be called “Uncle” after the false start, Thorin chuckled. “Any wise dwarf knows to fear a dwarf mother in regards to her children- especially when she is your sister!”

Blinking, Kili laughed softly. “Then she will not hear of this from me.”

“Thank you, Kili.” He felt as if a weight that had been riding on his shoulders had been lifted. “Now, go join your brother and get warmed.”

“What about you?”

“I will be there shortly. I wish to have a moment to smoke my pipe in peace.”

Remembering what Bofur had said to him the night before, Kili nodded and took his leave.

Thorin watched him, taking note of the slightly lighter tread in his nephew’s step.


	6. Secrets Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Read them. But just in case: **There is triggering material in this chapter.**  
>  Mindless Babble: Apparently no one really liked the fluff chapter. Anyways, here's a new chapter a day early since last week was so late.  
> Though, I'm kinda doubting anyone is reading this anymore.

_The trolls are naught but stone now. Your family and friends are safe. It’s alright to relax._

Even though the words kept repeating like a mantra in his head, Balin could not let his guard down. Once again, he made a head count while the two wizards talked. Bilbo sat off to the side, cleaning the blade Gandalf had retrieved for him from the troll cave. There was his brother talking with Thorin. Bifur and Bofur stood on the hill keeping watch. Dori was fussing over Ori who had been injured during the fight with the trolls. Nori was prowling the edge of the group, most likely looking for more treasure, though Balin doubted it would make any difference if it belonged to trolls or dwarves. Gloin and Oin were talking with Bombur while Fili watched the wizards, his expression amused. And Kili sat on a fallen tree some distance away, his back towards the group.

Balin frowned. It was not often the young brothers were separated, yet, here they were, on nearly opposite sides of the gathering. Even odder, Kili was completely by himself. The young dwarf seemed to hate being alone. If not at his brother‘s side, then he was frequently with one of the company, though Balin had noticed it rarely seemed to be with his uncle. Now a bit concerned, he made his way up the slight slope, pausing to make sure he wasn’t intruding on the lad’s privacy.

His eyes widened and his heart broke as he finally saw the young dwarf‘s secret. Kili held an arrowhead in his hand and was using it to carve a dwarf rune into his other arm. There was too much blood to read what it said, but Balin could still see that this was not the first time the young dwarf had done this to himself. Forcing himself to wait until Kili was done for fear of causing more serious injury, the old dwarf quietly made his way over to the younger, taking a seat next to him. He ignored the way Kili franticly tried to cover his arm and gazed into the forest.

“So, do ye think Master Baggins is disappointed in this Brown Wizard?”

Kili blinked, clearly not expecting that question. “Wh- what?”

“Well, Gandalf made him out ta be this great wizard an’ here we find him ta be a bit more…well, unusual, I suppose.”

Kili couldn’t help but to chuckle as he looked over his shoulder at the pair of Istari and at the hobbit who was inspecting the elven blade with a novice‘s eye. “If he is, he doesn’t look it. But then again, he is learning to take things in stride.”

“And what ‘bout ye, laddie?”

Kili turned to face Balin, fear suddenly etched into his youthful face. “Please don’t tell Thorin or my brother about this…please!”

The elder glanced at where the young king still stood with Dwalin. “I won’t tell if ye do me two favors.”

Kili lowered his eyes. “Which are…?”

“One, make sure ye take care o’ those wounds. It would be damaging ta the company if they were ta make ye sick with infection while we‘re on the road. Oin has plenty of salves and bandages- I’ll even get them fer ye if ye not want ta go yerself.”

Kili nodded in agreement. “Fair enough. And the second?”

“Just think ‘bout talking ta Thorin or Fili. I’m sure they would want ta help.”

Kili shook his head. “I can’t- not until I’m stronger.”

Balin frowned, confused at the reply. “What do ye-”

He was interrupted by a howl of pure evil. Both shot up at the sound of the warg, sliding down the hill in time to see the massive creature pounce on Oin only to immediately be cut down by Thorin. Balin looked up to see a second creature preparing to pounce on his prince.

Before he could even call out to Thorin, movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention. Suddenly the beast was dead, an arrow through its skull. Thorin turned his head to see Kili with his bow and for the briefest of instances, his uncle’s eyes were alight with shocked pride for his sister-son’s skill.

And skilled he was. Balin had seen the fluidity and grace that could only come with years of practice. It was obvious that Kili’s actions were not conscious. He had snagged a pheasant fletched arrow from the quiver on his back, nocked and released it all in one efficient action, an action that seemed as natural to the dwarf as breathing. The feeling of pride for the young lad was tempered by the bitter knowledge of what price Kili, an heir of Thorin, had to pay to train so long with the bow. He desperately wished he could praise the young dwarf for his skill but there was no time.

There was only time for fleeing.

***  
Bilbo couldn’t help but to keep glancing behind him at the young dwarf brothers. Fili seemed fearful, as if he was expecting another attack even though they were surrounded by rock. His eyes darted everywhere, though he didn’t seem to notice his faltering brother behind him. Kili held his arm to his stomach, his eyes focused on the ground. Biting his lip, the hobbit slipped past Fili with a polite, “Excuse me”, and went to Kili, who was now a fair distance from the rest.

“Kili? Are you alright?”

Dark eyes looked up at the unexpected inquiry. “I’m…fine. Just… still reeling from the attack, I guess.” He tried to smile for Bilbo.

The hobbit cautiously returned the grin. “You know, you were quite impressive out there, taking down those foul creatures.”

A strange expression crossed Kili’s face, one that mixed confusion with gratitude. “Thank you. You are kind to say so.”

Bilbo nodded. “One of the most impressive things I have ever seen in my life really.”

“You’ve…never seen a bow fired, have you?”

“Not a single time.” Kili chuckled softly and the hobbit looked slightly abashed. “I suppose that really wasn’t all that great of a compliment.”

The dwarf shook his head. “No, Bilbo. I take it as high praise, as…you are the first to do so.”

Eyes widen in shock. “How can I be the first? Surely your uncle knows? Or your brother?”

Again, Kili shook his head. “Neither. Thorin considers the bow an elven weapon, good only for hunting. So I kept it a secret from him. I never let Fili come with me when I practiced because…” He lowered his head.

“Why?’ Bilbo gently asked.

“Only one brother needed to suffer.” The hobbit’s look of confusion was lost on the dwarf as his eyes were still fixed on the ground. “Your home, Hobbiton. It seems to be a wonderful place, where your children grow up surrounded by love and happiness. In Ered Luin, where Fili and I were born, the only things that surround the children are hardship and sorrow. The adults know that it’s not our proper home, and that affects their children. The hatred of the elves that did not come to the aid of the King Thrór made the bow into a symbol of hatred and ridicule.”

“So then why did you pursue it?”

Kili sighed, as if he were growing tired. “The first time I shot one, I was just a child. Thorin had taken Fili to train him in the art of the sword, but I was too small. I found his hunting bow and took it into a grove of trees near our home. I found I had an affinity for it, hitting the target I placed on a tree with my first try.”

“But if the bow was so looked down upon…?”

Kili finally raised his head, and Bilbo could see the sadness there. “It gave me comfort when I needed it.”

He was about to ask what the other meant when he heard Dwalin say something in the language of the dwarves. He blinked, confused. “What did he just say?”

Kili looked a little embarrassed. “I don’t think you want me to translate that…”

“Oh.”

They had arrived in Rivendell.


	7. The Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit  
> Warnings: read them, but just in case: **There is blood in this chapter**  
>  Mindless Babble: This chapter was written for all those people that informed me that Aragorn would have been a child at the time of the Hobbit when I wrote "Brotherhood".

Two sets of identical eyes watched the motley group form up, creating a ring around a few, though all bore weapons at the ready. This amused them greatly, and they dismounted quickly after Lord Elrond formally invited the dwarves and hobbit to dine with him. They were silently trying to form a plan to lure one away as a servant led their horses to the stables when fate intervened. A coarse cry of frustration was uttered as a strap broke. To the twin’s immense delight, the ground was now littered with arrows. The dwarf motioned for the others to go ahead.

“Here, let us help you pick those up,” one of the elves said, stooping to gather the fallen projectiles as the young dwarf struggled to jury-rig the quiver. The elf’s brow furrowed as the dwarf flinched away from them.

“Don’t worry. We mean you no harm,” said the other twin. “My name is Elladan. This is my brother, Elrohir.”

Distrustful eyes watched them warily. Elrohir held out the handful of arrows, and tried to smile gently. He was honestly confused by the dwarf’s reaction to them when it had been orcs that had attacked the company, not elves. He had seen newborn foals less skittish than this being.

“What is your name?”

“Kili.” He took his arrows and slid them back into his broken quiver with a nod of thanks.

Elledan tilted his head. “No ‘Son of-’ or ‘of the line of-’?”

Kili lowered his head. “My father died when I was young. I have no memory of him. And my linage… is of no matter.”

The twins exchanged a look. This was an odd dwarf and they were no longer sure he would be of any amusement to them. Still, Elrohir decided that nothing would be lost if they tried.

“We have not seen a dwarf with a bow in a long time. Are you any good?”

Something dangerous sparked in Kili’s eyes. “I shoot well enough.”

Elledan snorted. “My, that almost sounded like a boast! Perhaps we should witness your skill first hand? We could make a game of it.”

Kili glanced to where the others had disappeared before turning back to the twins. He silently nodded and followed the elves to a small archery range. A smile appeared on his face as he looked around the grassy field, the awe and delight plain on his face.

“Do you not have a place like this in your homeland?”

Not looking at Elrohir, he replied, “Not like this. Mine was small and rocky. It had to be hidden among the boulders so I could practice in peace.”

At a loss for words to reply with, Elledan instead pointed to the targets. “We’ll make this quick so that you can rejoin your company. We each shoot three arrows. The one with the closest cluster around the center wins.”

Kili nodded as he lined up with the two elves. He laid his broken quiver at his feet and took up his stance. He fired three arrows at one of the ten targets that lined the other end of the field as the twins did the same. The three walked together to find the outcome of their game.

“I…lost…”

Elrohir heard the heartbreak in Kili’s voice as he pulled his own arrows from the target. “But it was still very close. If it makes you feel any better, ’Dan and I have been at this for a very long time.”

His head snapped to the side as he heard a sound of something heavy hitting the ground and the gasp of his brother. Elledan was dropping down next to Kili, who was now on his knees, still staring at his target. At first, the elf thought the dwarf was simply being over-dramatic at the loss. Then he saw the spreading stain on the right side of the teal blue tunic.

“Kili! Why didn’t you tell us you were injured?” Elledan reached for the young dwarf, fear making his features even paler.

“It…wasn’t important…” He touched the wound in his side. His fingers came away covered in blood.

“And an archery contest was?” Elrohir cried as he knelt next to his brother.

Kili turned his head, his ashen face contorted with pain and sorrow. “It was…to me…”

Eyes rolling back, he slumped against Elledan. The elf quickly gathered the dwarf in his arms and stood, grunting in effort. With Elrohir close behind, he raced to the house of healing.

“I need a healer!” he called, bursting through the door. He gently laid Kili on the closest bed and started to remove all the layers of clothing the dwarf had on. He felt his brother join him on the other side of the bed as he attempted to unbuckle the gauntlet on the dwarf’s left arm. He finally was able to slide it off only to be stopped short by the horror that lay under the leather.

The entire sleeve had been soaked in blood from what Elledan thought were random cuts. It didn’t make any sense though- the gauntlet had not shown any sign of damage, certainly not enough to warrant this amount of blood.

A healer appeared by his brother’s side with a bowl of water, a cloth and several medical instruments of which he placed on a nearby table. He began to gently clean the wound in the dwarf’s side. “There is something embedded in here…”

“Can you get it out?”

The healer nodded. “I believe so… but it seems to be caught under his rib…” He took a clamp and slid into the wound. 

Elrohir bit his lip, hoping Kili would stay unconscious for a bit longer as the healer slowly withdrew the device. Unaware of his actions, he brushed the dwarf’s sweat dampened hair back with his hand. It was something his mother had done for him whenever he was injured and it had always comforted him. Several long minutes later, an ugly black arrowhead, still attached to a broken shaft, lay in a shallow bowl.

“Orc!” Elledan growled, his expression one of fury. 

“Which means the arrow was dipped in filth…” 

The healer nodded, confirming Elrohir’s fears. “I need to clean and treat the wound. You boys should go inform the dwarf’s companions.”

“N…no….” The three elves started at the weak voice. “Please…don’t leave me….”

Elledan picked up the small hand still covered in blood. The terror on Kili’s face had stirred something in him, reminding him of the small human he cared for as a brother. It made him wonder what horrors he had been told about elves.

“Alright, Kili, I’ll stay and ’Ro can go tell your friends.”

The dwarf closed his eyes as a tear trickled down his cheek. “They will not care…”

“I doubt that. You seem to be the only archer in your company.”

Kili’s eyes stayed closed, as if his eyelids were too heavy to lift. A small smile crept to his lips. “Tell my uncle…that one of his kin is here. He will call my brother’s name.”

Elrohir swallowed, surprised to find his chest tightening. “Who is your uncle?”

Another tear slipped from closed eyes. “Thorin…son of Thrain…son of Thrór…”

Elledan gasped. “Kili…you are a dwarf prince…?”

“N…no…my brother is…” He sighed, once more passing into unconsciousness, though his hand still clutched Elledan’s.

The twins looked at each other. “Father is going to kill us…”


	8. House of Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Read them. Also **SASS**  
>  Mindless Babble:  
> Dedication: For [beaniebaneenie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/beaniebaneenie/pseuds/beaniebaneenie) who actually caught my reference.

“And what were you doing on the Great East Road?”

Thorin was saved from answering as an elf that bore a strong resemblance to Elrond approached the elven lord and whispered into his ear. One elegant eyebrow arched and almond shaped eyes focused on the dwarf king. He nodded as the elf straightened but stayed at Elrond’s side.

“My son tells me that you travel with some of your close kin.”

“Aye, I do. My sister-sons.” 

“I fear that one of them now lies in our healing lodge…” 

Thorin’s face paled as he bolted to his feet. “Fili!”

Only Gandalf saw the stricken look that crossed Elrohir’s face before the elf schooled it back into a neutral expression.

The blond dwarf looked at his uncle, still grinning from the story Balin was telling about Dwalin’s younger years. Seeing the fear on his uncle’s face, he stood, humor wiped from his own. “Thorin?”

The exiled king sighed in relief, his posture relaxing some. At least until he came to the horrific realization that it was the youngest of his kin who was injured. He turned back to the pair of elves. “What happened to Kili?”

“He had a broken orc arrow in his side when he arrived,” the younger elf replied softly.

“Uncle?”

Thorin nearly jumped as Fili came up beside him. “Why did you not tell me your brother was injured?”

Fili was obviously dumbstruck. “What? He wasn’t injured- he would have said something…”

Both dwarves were shocked into silence as they finally understood that Kili had told no one about the wound. The unbearable pain that surfaced on Fili’s face nearly broke Thorin. He returned his attention to Elrond and his son.

Swallowing his pride, he asked, “May we see him?” 

“Our healer is treating and bandaging his wound,” Elrohir replied. “Please give him a few minutes more.”

“But he is my brother! I should be with him!”

“You were not with him these last hours when he needed you- what are a few more minutes?!” he snapped in reply.

“Elrohir!”

The elf flinched at his father’s harsh tone, even more so at the tears in Fili’s eyes. He bowed his head as he struggled to rein in his anger and frustration.

“I am sorry, Ada.”

“It is not me you should be apologizing to.”

Elrohir shook his head. “I will not apologize to those who hurt their family like these two have.”

By this point, the other dwarves were coming up behind Thorin and Fili. Dwalin, in particular, seemed ready to bloody some elves and thoroughly enjoy doing it. The dwarf king glared at Elrohir, trying to keep his voice even.

“And what do you mean by that?”

The elf raised his head, defiantly. “He is too young to have the scars he carries.”

“Scars?” The more the conversation continued, the more Fili wondered if they were talking about the same dwarf.

“The ones here,” Elrohir said, tapping his chest over his heart. “The scars that led him to believe that winning a game of archery against elves was more important than seeking treatment for an arrow buried in his ribs.”

Thorin scowled. “A game?”

At that, Elrohir had the decency to look embarrassed. “My brother and I…convinced him to have a contest with us. We didn’t know he was injured…he didn’t tell us either.”

Fili brushed the tears from his eyes with his sleeve, in a gesture that reminded Thorin of how young his nephew really was. “Who won?”

The elf smiled sadly at the softly spoken question. “My brother, though it was close enough that I think, had Kili not been injured, he would have won.”

The blond dwarf smiled though the tears. “Does he know that?”

“No. I thought it would mean more coming from you.” He lifted his head to take in the dwarves that now gathered around the small family, silently lending the pair their support. “He seemed to feel that his skill would have been a source of scorn.”

Thorin sighed as he felt the wave of shame and guilt go through the company. None of them had known of Kili’s skill with a bow until today, apparently, not even his own brother. None of them ever asked, even though they had all seen the bow he carried with such pride.

“Perhaps now would be a good time for Kili’s uncle and brother to see him,” Gandalf said, finally getting to his feet. “Lord Elrond has graciously allowed us to spend the night in his home, so the rest of you come along. You too, Bilbo.”

The rest of the dwarves reluctantly followed the wizard after a nod from their king. The hobbit, however, scuttled to Fili’s side. He took the young dwarf’s hand to get his attention.

“Please don’t be angry with Kili. He hid his abilities so he could protect you from the scorn of the children of your home.”

Fili looked at him strangely. “How do you know this?”

Bilbo blushed, becoming flustered. “He…he told me. In the hidden passage to Rivendell.”

“Come on Bilbo! Lindir has suggested a stop at the bath house before we settle in for the night.”

Thorin snorted as the others grudgingly followed the elf and wizard, the hobbit running to catch up. Beside him, Filil chuckled softly.

“Bombur in a bathtub?”

“I don’t see it either.” Thorin turned to Elrohir. “Well, then, lead the way.”

***  
“How is he?”

Elledan sighed as his twin sat on the edge of the bed where Kili rested. The dwarf‘s body had been gently cleansed as the healer made certain Kili had no other unspoken of injuries. His still damp hair lay fanned out on the pillows under his head. He had been dressed in cream colored tunic that covered the bandages on his arm and abdomen.

“He should live. The healers said that the wound was made worse because of his movements on the field and then mumbled something about the stubbornness of dwarves.” He shook his head and looked at the door. “His uncle and brother?”

“Outside. I wanted to speak with you first.” He picked up Kili’s hand in his own, thinking over this new information. “He was right- his uncle called out for his brother. Neither had an inkling he’d been hurt. They were also completely unaware of his skill with a bow until today and didn’t even know what he had to go through to gain it. The little hobbit had to tell them.”

Elledan nodded absently. “He keeps his secrets hidden well…”

His twin tilted his head, searching his brother’s face. “You don’t mean the arrow or his skills, do you?”

“Those cuts on his arms, they’re dwarf runes. ‘Unworthy’, ‘foolish’, and ‘irresponsible’. The healer suspects they were self-inflicted.”

Elrohir’s jaw dropped. “What…why?” 

Elledan shrugged. “Only Kili knows but I doubt he’ll tell us. I don’t think we should tell his kin. It’s not our place.”

“Alright, I supposed that is true enough.” The younger twin gently laid Kili’s hand back on the bed and stood. “I’ll go get them.”

Elledan watched his brother slip out the door to speak to Thorin and Fili. Then his gaze returned to the dwarf. He seemed so small on the large bed, yet the elf knew better. Kili’s compassion, determination, love, and spirit- they were all so large, Elledan wondered how one small body could contain them. He reached out to brush a stray hair from the still pale face, causing Kili to stir, his eyes fluttering open.

“Good evening, Master Dwarf. How are you feeling?”

“Hmm, better…I think.” 

Elledan chuckled as he helped Kili to sit up, propping up the pillows behind him. “Your uncle and brother are here to see you.”

A small smile lit upon the young dwarf’s lips. “Both of them?”

“Yes…But you should know-”

“I was right, about my uncle.” Kili gave the elf a sad smile. “It’s okay. They’re here now.”

“We did not tell them about your arm, so you may say what you wish.”

Kili lowered his eyes. “Thank you.”

He opened his mouth to reply but never got the chance as a strangled cry beat him to it.

“KILI!”

Suddenly, a blond, bearded dwarf was all but smothering Kili in a bear hug. Shaking his head, Elledan stood and joined his brother. He was a bit surprised to find his twin was not alone.

“I suppose I have the both of you to thank for my nephews life. I am…in you debt.”

“No debt is owed to us, Lord Thorin Oakenshield,” Elledan replied softly.

“Honestly, we should be thanking you.” Elrohir smiled, glancing at the pair of dwarves on the bed as Fili brushed back a lock of hair from his brother’s face. “Kili has shown us that there are good people beyond our borders. He has reawakened the wonder in us that we thought long dead. So if there is debt to be made, it is us to you for bringing him here.”

“Then you owe Gandalf. I did not come here willingly.”

“But you did bring him on your quest, which means we need to thank you.”

Thorin disagreed again. “I did not want him on this journey. He is too young for the sorrows and pains we face.”

Elledan dared to cast a vicious gaze at the dwarf king. “He is not the child you think him to be. He is a warrior, with the spirit and heart to match. Until you can see that, Kili will never become what you want him to be.”

With that, he pulled his brother from the room, leaving a scowling and bewildered dwarf to ponder those words.


	9. Oaths and Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings:  
> Mindless Babble:

“Kili, I’m so sorry, I should have realized-”

The young dwarf shook his head. “No, Fili. I am the only one to blame. I made you and Thorin worry.”

Fili looked long and hard at his brother, unshed tears welling up in his blue eyes. Finally he reached up to cup the pale cheeks in both of his hands. “Kili…promise me…promise me that you will not disappear from my life like that again.”

His brother’s brow knitted in confusion. “Fili…?”

“You… you were dying and I didn’t even notice!” The tears finally fell as Kili gently placed his hands over Fili’s. “I know that I get distracted by small worries, forgetting that there are more important things in life. Like having a wonderful brother with amazing skills.” He lowered his head, though his hands stayed where they were. “A brother who couldn’t even tell me about his talent…”

“Fili…Please, stop…I was just keeping you safe…”

At that, the blond head snapped back so cerulean eyes stared into deep brown. “No! You did it to protect my foolish pride and I would ask that you protect yourself instead! You are my little brother- you are my world! From the day you were born, I swore to protect you. This is something I have utterly failed at and I will spend the rest of my life trying to correct that mistake. This I swear to you, Kili.”

The young dwarf blinked at his brother, moved deeply by his oath. ”Then this I swear to you, Fili. I will do my best to keep from disappearing from your world. I will remind you, whenever you need it, that I am here, always at your side, for as long as you want me there.”

“Then to the end of our days…” Fili began, as he tipped his forehead to rest against his brother’s.

“…We hold these oaths true,” Kili finished. 

“Perhaps an old uncle might make an oath as well?”

The brothers looked up, startled, having forgotten that Thorin was present as well. The older dwarf chuckled as he sat on the other side of the bed from Fili. He gently took a hand from each brother and held them tightly, bringing them up to touch his bowed forehead.

“To you Fili, and to you, Kili, I make this promise. Both of you shall be at my side when we return and reclaim my place of birth. You shall be lords of Erebor but more importantly, you will be my nephews and my family. And we will rule as such. Together. This, I swear to you both.”

He looked up at the two young faces, both now wet with tears. Smiling, he pulled them into a hug, placing a gentle kiss first on strawberry blond hair, then on chestnut brown. 

“You two get some rest. I have to go to a meeting with the wizard and our host, but I will come back to check on you later.”

Fili nodded while Kili grinned cheekily at his uncle. “Have fun!”

Thorin would have growled had he not been so glad to hear his young nephew’s teasing voice.

***  
“The wizard feels we should leave as soon as possible and, for once, I agree with him. We will leave when Kili is healed enough.”

Balin’s eyes were gentle as he took in his frustrated king who paced like a caged animal. It had been only two days since their arrival in Rivendell but even that short amount of time had worn on Thorin. The elves themselves had been kind to the dwarves but years of hatred were hard to let go of.

“Then that time shall soon be upon us, I should think.”

Thorin paused in mid-stride. “What?”

“The healers are releasing Kili today, though they recommend at least one more night o’ rest ‘fore we unleash him back onto the world.”

The dark haired dwarf chuckled softly. “That is good news, indeed.”

“Aye. Bombur is already planning a feast fer tonight.”

Thorin nodded. “Then we leave tomorrow night.”

Balin agreed. “I’ll let the others know.” 

“Thank you, my friend.”

The old elf bowed his head, smiling. “Perhaps ye should go see him?”

“Perhaps- but later. I saw those twins heading towards Kili’s room just a bit ago.”

A white eyebrow arched. “Really now? I knew the boy could charm any dwarf, but I dinna know he had that power over elves as well.”

Thorin snorted in a blend of humor and disgust. “It’s that bow of his. The elves seem to think he is amazing. For a dwarf.”

At this, old eyes saddened. “At least he knows there is someone who thinks highly of his talent.”

Shoulders dropped as Thorin realized how true Balin’s reply was. He touched the small bag in his coat pocket before he turned his back to Balin.

“I need to speak with the elf lord.” With that, he was gone.


	10. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do no own the Hobbit  
> Warnings:  
> Mindless Babble: This chapter is dedicated to all those that informed me of Estel's correct age at the time of the Hobbit when I posted Brotherhood. Also, you get two chapters because chapter 9 was so very short, I felt bad.

The twins entered the room to the usual scene. Kili lay against his brother, dozing as Fili softly read to him from a book Elrohir had found in the library. It was a book of dwarf fairy tales but neither brother seemed to mind. They were together and for the moment, all was right with the world.

Elledan tilted his head, spotting the small lump that was curled up on the other side of Kili. A lump that was dressed in elven finery, similar to what the twins wore. He blinked in surprise.

“Estel! What are you doing here?”

Silver blue eyes peered out from under a mop of curly hair which just about the same color as the brunet dwarfs, as the boy lifted his head. Fili looked up from the book as Kili blinked back into full wakefulness.

“Ah, so that is his name.” Fili smiled at the child. “Kili spotted him peeking around the door, listening to me read.”

“It took a bit but we coaxed him over to join us, though he wouldn’t speak,” his brother added, after a yawn.

Elrohir shook his head as the twins made their way over to the bed, his brother sitting next to the child. “He is called Estel and he is our foster brother. His mother brought him here a few seasons ago.”

“I don’t think he’s ever seen a dwarf before which may be why he sought you out.” Elledan brushed back the boy’s hair, revealing very human ears.

His brother laughed softly at the astonished looks the dwarf brothers had at the sight. “Yes, he is human, but he is very much like you two.”

“Though, we’re not supposed to say anything about that…” Elledan glared at his twin.

“Sorry…” He blushed and turned his attention to Kili and handed over a pile of clothes. “We cleaned what we could but your tunic was so stained with blood, we couldn’t save it. So we had our tailor make you a new one!”

Kili paled a little at the thought of wearing an elven shirt. It was bad enough to grow up being called an elf as an insult, but to have his uncle see him dressed like one? He was sure Thorin would have a heart attack.

Sensing the young dwarf’s fear, Elrohir smiled. “Don’t worry; we gave him your old shirt so he could use it for reference.” He held up a tunic that was identical to the old one, though it was significantly less worn.

“He even managed to match the patterns of embroidery,” marveled Fil.

Elledan grinned, looking over his shoulder. “He wasn’t happy about doing that pattern. He said it wasn’t very graceful.”

Kili snorted. “Apparently, he has never met a dwarf either.”

“We’ll let you get dressed then. Your company is eager to see you, especially the tall, bald one and the one with the funny hat.”

“Dwalin and Bofur…” Kili smiled as he ran his hand over the new clothing, a warm feeling blossoming in his chest.

“They have been worried about you,” Fili said softly, hugging his brother with one arm. “They were always in the kitchen, waiting for me to get our meals, wanting to know how you were doing.”

Kili looked up at Fili, his expression softening. His brother had barely left his side since he had woken up, leaving only to get food or water for the two of them. He even spent the nights curled around his sibling, much to the dismay of the healers who would have separated them if not for the interference of the twin elves. 

Elledan stood up with Estel in his arms. “Come on, ’Ro. They have a party to get ready for and we have some things that need to be pilfered from the kitchen for it.”

The other twin grinned, standing as well. “We’ll see you later tonight, Kili, Fili.”

The dwarves dipped their heads in farewell as the three brothers left. Fili slipped from the bed, turning to stop his own brother from following. “Rest for a bit longer- it will be a long night. I’m going to go get ready then I’ll come back and help you.”

Kili nodded as he curled up in the warmth of the soft bed, already dozing off again. “Alright…”

When Fili returned, properly dressed and hair braided, he found his little brother cured up in a tight ball, making him seem even smaller on the already far too big bed. His eyes came to rest on the bandaged forearm, causing him to scowl. Kili had said it was from him wearing his gauntlet too tightly, but refused to let Fili take care of it while he cleaned and dressed the arrow wound. It bothered Fili, but he was loath to upset his younger brother any more than he already had.

He gently woke his brother and helped Kili dress before he combed the dark hair until it shone. He attached the silver hair ornament, a twin to his own. “You know, I could braid your hair for you…”

Kili shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Braids are too heavy and get in the way.”

Fili chuckled. “Ah, so that must be why Dwalin doesn’t have any either.”

His brother laughed even as he rolled his eyes. He got to his feet and turned to Fili. “How do I look?”

“You look fine, though that shirt needs some breaking in.”

Plucking at the new fabric, Kili agreed, his smile fading some. “I’m sure that will come soon enough. Thorin must be chomping at the bit to get out of here.”

“Aye, I’m sure he is. But I’m also sure he wants to know for certain that you are able to travel before we leave.” 

Kili didn’t respond, keeping his eyes down. He still had yet to tell Fili about the overheard conversation between his mother and uncle but it was always there, in the back of his mind. 

“I will miss Elrohir and Elledan.”

Fili gently squeezed Kili’s shoulder. “I know you will. But after we take back our kingdom, we can come back here and I will be able to witness firsthand you beating them at their own archery games.”

At that, Kili looked up, the grin returning to his lips. “You would do that? Come back here with me?”

“Of course I would! I would love to watch you shoot something more than warg riders while we flee for our lives.”

Laughing, Kili threw his arms around his brother, hugging him tightly. A hug which was fiercely returned.


	11. A Pair of Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Cuteness/ Fluff (Which means this chapter will get no notes.)  
> Mindless Babble: Make you all a deal- If you guys can get [blue_butterfly](http://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_butterfly/pseuds/blue_butterfly/) to update "At the end of the Rainbow" I will post an advance chapter of this fic. BUT you have to be nice about it! I respect her both as a writer and a person so I will hold you to the same standard!
> 
> Need incentives? Longer chapters. Angst. Baby Fili and Newborn Kili.

In true dwarf fashion, the celebration had already started by the time Fili and Kili arrived. Dwalin and Gloin seemed to be nearing the end of a drinking game as the redheaded dwarf was muttering about swimming with little hairy women. Oin apparently was on hand to catch the looser. Bombur was sampling all of the foods he had prepared with Dori and a horrified kitchen staff. Nori and Ori were watching Bifur have a discussion with someone who wasn’t even there. Thorin and Balin were in a corner with Bilbo and Gandalf, obviously mixing business with pleasure. It was Bofur who greeted them at the door with two steins full of a purple liquid.

“Oye! The dwarf of the hour has arrived!” He thrust the mugs into the young dwarves’ hands.

Kili shook his head. “I can’t drink. The healers said that it would thin my blood and slow down the healing.”

Bofur’s grin grew, if that were possible. “Oh, aye laddie. That’s why it’s fruit juice fer ye!”

Laughing, the brothers took the steins and followed Bofur into the large room where the company had been staying. Dwalin looked up from his game and silently toasted Kili, while Gloin tried to do the same, with emphasis on the try part.

Laughing as Oin failed to catch his brother, Fili started to steer his brother over to the food. “Are you hungry?”

Kili nodded. “Starved.”

Dori smacked Bombur’s hand as they approached the food laden table. “You’ve tried enough! Let the poor boys have some too!” He turned to grin at Kili. “You have some friends in high places. This is some of the highest quality food I’ve ever had the pleasure of cooking with!”

“That would be the sons of Elrond, I’m sure,” a deep voice spoke from behind the brothers as hands landed on their shoulders.

“Thorin!” Fili grinned happily at his uncle. “They aren’t so bad…”

“From what their father tells me, they are the elven versions of you two, so it’s no surprised you would say that.” He smiled gently at his nephews, to show he was mostly teasing. Mostly. “I’m sorry Fili, but I must speak with your brother for a few moments.”

Fili glanced at Kili, as if asking if this was alright with his brother, who nodded with a small smile. “Alright. I’ll get us both some food before Bombur eats it all.”

Thorin gently guided Kili from the room and into a moonlit area of the house. One wall was decorated with a painted mural depicting a human cutting the hand from a monster. Kili struggled to remember the story.

“It is the destruction of Sauron, the Deceiver.”

“Wait… the one who crafted the Rings of Power?” Kili couldn’t help himself.

Thorin nodded, pointing to an altar behind the other. “Aye. And there are the shards of Narsil, the blade that cut the ring from that evil hand.”

Kili eagerly went to the statue and stood on tiptoe to see the shattered remains. Thorin smiled as he watched the young dwarf realize the stories he heard when he was a child were true. He opened his mouth to warn Kili to be careful but found there was no need. The hand that had reached for the shards stopped, hovering over them for a moment before pulling back. Thorin almost missed the sad sigh that came from his nephew.

“Kili?” He approached his kin cautiously. “Are you alright?”

“Aye, I’m fine. It’s just a little overwhelming to find out that the bedtime stories you used to tell us are true.”

“That was not the only reason for that sigh.” Thorin scowled. “Why did you not touch them?”

Kili kept his head lowered his eyes on the intricate floor. “I felt I wasn’t worthy. That is a sword of kings…”

Taking his nephew’s chin in his hand, he lifted Kili’s head, so he could look into those dark eyes. “You are the grandson of a king and the son of a princess. You are more than worthy.” 

To prove his point, he reached up and took the hilt of the shattered sword thrusting it into Kili’s hands. The young dwarf almost dropped it before his grip turned respectful.

“It was a beautiful sword…”

Thorin finally smiled, pleased that Kili could see and understand the craftsmanship. “Aye, it was. And will be again. The legends say that when the King of Gondor returns, the blade that was broken will be remade.”

Kili held the broken relic for a few more moments, turning it over in his hands, his eyes still large with awe. He handed it back to his uncle with a shy smile.

“If they let a dwarf remake it, it will never break again.”

Laughing, Thorin returned the hilt to its resting place. “Aye, true enough. But the truth might damage elven pride.”

When he turned back to face his sister-son, his expression was one of complete seriousness. “Kili, I have a gift for you.”

Kili looked at his elder confused. “Why? I have done nothing to deserve anything from you.”

Thorin felt his heart hitch at the sincerity in the other’s voice. He could not understand what had happened to make his kin feel so unworthy in his own eyes. 

“Is it not enough that you are my nephew?”

Kili bowed his head again. “I am sorry, Uncle. I did not mean to sound ungrateful.” 

Thorin picked up a small, wrapped package from where he had hid it earlier. He gently handed the bundle to Kili. “I wanted to give you these back when I visited, but they were not complete. I needed to find wood worthy of you. Unfortunately, I had to ask Lord Elrond for help…”

A faint smile appeared on Kili’s lips, which only grew when he opened the package. A dozen white fletched arrows lay among the wrappings, each tipped with an iron head. The shafts were made of a pale colored wood.

“They…they’re perfect!”

Thorin’s expression lightened. “I forged the tips using the design the Rangers of the North have on their arrows. The fletching is swan.” A shy smile formed on his lips. “The wood is polished oak.”

Kili’s head shot up in an incredulous stare. “Oak?”

The older dwarf nodded. “Apparently, it is the wood favored by his sons for their arrows.”

“But…I thought you hated the bow…?”

“I do. But you do not.” He laid his hands on the shoulders of his nephew. “You wield your bow like Gloin wields his axes or your brother with his swords. I am proud of you Kili. I just wish you hadn’t felt like you needed to keep it a secret.”

Once again, his head lowered, as Kili clutched his gift to his chest. “I know. I am sorry.”

Thorin pulled his young nephew to his chest and held him. “It’s alright, Kili. It will be alright…”


	12. Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Slight blood  
> Mindless Babble: Updating early because I will probably have another 10 to 15 hour work day tomorrow and I have a hard time finding the power button on my laptop when I have days that long. Remember, comments= love! Also, the offer from last chapter still stands though it might be a day later.
> 
> Interesting little fun fact: This chapter spawned an ending that you will not get to read until probably 2015.

Elrohir blushed as the music stumbled to a halt and several sets of angry eyes turned towards him and his brother. Apparently, he hadn’t quite been forgiven for his words to Thorin and Fili. He raised an eyebrow as he saw a dwarf snoring softly in a corner before he spotted Fili sitting with Dori and Ori.

“Oh! Elrohir! Elledan! Good, you’re here!” Fili stood, leaving the tankard of ale his brother had insisted he have on the table as he approached the elves. 

“Well, we were hoping to see Kili’s gift and to find out if he liked it.” He relaxed a little as the music started back up.

Fili snorted. “I fear he will be sleeping with them instead of any lass…”

Elledan chuckled. “May we see him?”

“He’s out in the courtyard- said he needed some time to himself and some fresh air.”

The twins shared a look that, while said nothing to the others in the room, spoke volumes of worry between them. An entire silent conversation was had in the space of a few seconds.

“Thank you,” Elledan said with a nod, ushering his brother out to the large patio that was separated from the room by incandescent curtains. The area itself was covered in potted plants and climbing ivy that wound its way up the stone columns. There was a stone bench at the far end of it that overlooked the valley. And there, lying in front of the seat…

“Kili!” Elrohir hissed, running towards the slumped figure. He and his twin dropped next to the unconscious dwarf. Blood covered his left arm as well as the obsidian arrowhead still clutched in his right hand.

Elledan pulled some bandages from the satchel he had brought with him. He pressed it to the new wound, holding it there for a few minutes. He slowly pulled it away, his expression sorrowful as he saw what rune the dwarf had carved into his flesh.

“‘Failure’.”

Silently rinsing the blood away with water from a flask, Elrohir tried not to let his twin know how much that bothered him. Together, they cleaned and rewrapped the young dwarf’s arm. Just as they were tying off the bandage, Kili’s eyes fluttered open.

“Hello, Kili…” Elrohir spoke softly, helping the dwarf to sit up slowly allowing him to lean against his chest.

“What…happened…?”

“You apparently did not listen when the healers told you that you needed to rest and recover from all of your wounds.” Although he kept his voice neutral, Elrohir could hear the strain in his brother’s voice.

“But I had to, before it stopped having meaning…”

“Meaning?!” He sighed as Kili flinched, much the way he had when they first met. “These wounds…they have significance for you?”

Kili nodded. “They are reminders so I don’t forget….”

Elledan’s eyes flared. “Then there is one more thing you should remember!” He grabbed Kili’s right hand and the arrowhead. He turned the hand so that the palm was facing upwards. Deftly, he carved a sigil into the flesh.

His twin stared, too shocked to do anything but hold the dwarf upright. He wasn’t sure what horrified him more- the fact that his brother was inflicting a wound on someone they considered a friend or that Kili had no reaction beyond a small gasp of surprise.

When he was done, he shoved a wad of bandages into the archer’s hand. Kili merely blinked and brought his hand to his chest. He could feel that the mark was smaller than the ones he carved into his arm.

“What did you…write, brother?”

Elledan wiped off the arrowhead. “ _Mellon_.”

Kili frowned at the unfamiliar word. “What does that mean?”

“It means ‘friend’. If your other scars are to remind you of the bad, then you need one to remind you of the good.”

The dwarf pulled the cloth away from his palm to look at the mark. His lips turned upwards in pleased smile. “It’s beautiful…”

Elrohir sighed and took the injured hand. “Only you would think a bloody wound is beautiful. Now let me see it so I can clean it and put some salve on it.”

Kili looked down and realized that his arm had already been tended to. “Do you always carry with medicine and bandages?”

Elledan huffed. “We brought them for you to take when you continue your journey. Now I will have to go get more…”

“Oh…” Kili looked down at the ground as the younger twin wrapped his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Little One.” Elrohir gave the dwarf a gentle smile. “We came to see your gift from your Uncle. Ada said he helped Thorin complete them.”

Kili’s face lit up in excitement as he pulled the package from under the bench. He eagerly pulled an arrow from the bunch to show it to the elves. Most of the darkness that had been surrounding the youngling disappeared at the touch of his gift.

“Uncle forged the arrowheads himself!”

“He is talented,” remarked Elledan, as he took the arrow from Kili to examine it. “You’ll have to adjust your aim for the heavier weight of the metal.”

“I know.”

“And for the weight of the shaft- it is a denser wood then the spruce you use.”

“I know.”

“And the fletching-“

“I _know_ , Elledan!” Kili replied with more than just a hint of exasperation.

Elrohir chortled. “Forgive my brother, Master Archer. When he worries, he becomes worse than a mother bear!”

His twin glared at him but the expression melted as Kili laughed. It was a rare enough sound that both of the elves had learned to cherished it. Elledan handed the arrow back and the dwarf tucked it away with the others.

“I have a feeling that you will be leaving soon.”

“Probably, though I’m sure your people will be happy to see us gone.”

“Maybe, but we will miss you Kili.”

The dwarf lifted his head, a small smile upon his lips. “Would my brother and I be welcomed back someday?”

Both of the elves grinned, delighted by the idea. “You both would be most welcomed!”

“I think even Estel would be happy to see you again,” Elledan added.

“I would like to see him again as well. Maybe…when we return, you will tell me who he is?”

The twins shared a look before smiling at the dwarf. “I think we could do that…”

“Promise me?’

They took Kili’s uninjured hand and each laid one of their own over it. “We swear to tell you the secret of Estel when you have won back your home.”

“Then we will see you again when Fili and I are made heroes!”

The twins laughed merrily at this and helped the dwarf to his feet. Together, they went inside where even the elves were greeted warmly by Fili.


	13. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings. Babies  
> Mindless Babble: I love this chapter to bits and I have no idea why. I know this story is one of my flops but I will always love this chapter. Oh, and what Fili says about a baby sister is just what my sister said about me if I had been born a boy. So I guess this is the first time ever I have given a nod to anyone in my family. Too bad she'll never see it.

Thorin cursed under his breath, making the dwarf who stood at his side raise an eyebrow.

“That was…colorful.”

The exiled king glared at Dwalin. “We shouldn’t have left so early.”

Dwalin turned his head to see what was making his friend and liege so upset. It wasn’t hard. Fili sat next to his pale brother who was currently shirtless and leaning against Oin. Carefully, the older brother cleaned and re-bandaged the arrow wound. The youngest had said nothing all day, though it was obvious that he had been in pain for much of it.

“We had ta leave when we did. We were lucky those twins ye hate so much let us know ‘bout the other elf an’ wizard. Gandalf said-“

“I know what that blasted wizard said!’ Thorin snapped. He sighed and rubbed his face in frustration. “I am sorry my friend. I just…”

“I know. Balin told me ye wanted ta wait one more day.”

Thorin watched as Fili forced his protesting brother to lie down while they made camp for the night. “I once told Balin that all I could ask for was loyalty, honor and a willing heart. It seems I may have underestimated Kili’s heart.”

Dwalin chuckled. “Aye, the lad does seem to be trying too hard.”

Thorin blinked, frowning. “What do you mean?”

The other dwarf looked at him, confused. “Haven’t ye noticed? He’s spent this whole trip tryin’ ta prove ta ye that he’s no longer a dwarfling…”

“One of the twins told me something of the same lines…” he mumbled. “Am I really so blind to the youngest of my sister-sons?”

Dwalin wisely choose not to answer. Instead, he moved off to help set up the camp, leaving Thorin to his thoughts. Sitting down on a rock, he watched his as Fili won out, an exhausted Kili reluctantly laying down on the bedroll. His mind drifted back to the day of Kili’s birth.

It had been a bitterly cold autumn with a promise of an even colder winter, which was fast approaching. Thorin had just told his beloved sister of the death of her husband. The shock of which, had sent her into an early labor…

_Thorin tried not to panic as he hauled Dis into Oin’s home. The old dwarf helped the prince get his sister to a bed and as comfortable as possible._

_“She’s too early!”_

_Oin merely nodded as he turned to gather the tools of his trade. He paused when Thorin grabbed his upper arm, needing to know…_

_“There is little hope for the babe, but I will do my best to save them both.” The younger dwarf lowered both arm and head in resignation._

_“Do what you can…”_

_As Oin continued to gather the supplies he would need for what he expected to be a very long night, Thorin returned to his sister’s side. As he took her hand, she looked up at him, her eyes pleading._

_“Fili… he is all alone right now…”_

_“But…I can’t just leave you…”_

_Dis smiled at him through tears of physical and emotional pain. “Please don’t let my son be alone in this world…”_

_“He won’t be. He’ll have you back soon enough.”_

_“But…for now- please, he’ll be frightened. And Oin is here. Remember, he helped deliver Fili. I’ll be safe…”_

_Swallowing, Thorin assented. “Fine, but I am bringing him here.”_

_Dis smiled at him before another contraction caused her to scream. Thorin kissed her hand and fled the room, knowing that the only thing he could do to help his sister now would be to ease her mind about her child. It would do her good to see Fili when this nightmare was over._

_***  
There were no more screams when he returned, a small, blond dwarf tucked in the cook of his arm. Thorin bit his lip as he paused in the apothecary’s living room, afraid of what was beyond the next door. After what felt like an eternity, Oin came through the door, carrying a very small bundle. He looked up at Thorin with tears in his eyes._

_“The babe lives, but Dis has refused him.”_

_Thorin’s heart skipped a beat. The babe was a boy, the brother Fili had been asking for. A small grin came to him as he remembered his young nephew’s reply when asked what would happen if the baby was a girl. With a straight face and defiant stance, Fili has informed his parents that they could just send her back because he wanted a brother._

_“Did you here that Fili? You have your brother…”_

_The little dwarf squealed in excitement, holding his arms out for the baby. Chuckling, Thorin set him on the couch before he took the bundle from Oin._

_“You should know he probably won’t last the night.”_

_Thorin nodded as he looked at the tiny baby he held, amazed that something so small and still could still live. “I understand, but if his mother will not accept him, then let his brother, whose only wish lays here in my arms, accept him in her stead. Even if it is only for a little while.”_

_Oin’s sad eyes watched as an uncle gently laid a nephew in the eager arms of his other nephew._

_“Oh! He’s perfect!” Thorin smiled as he sat down next to Fili, Oin hovering nearby. “What’s his name?”_

_Thorin looked at Oin, aghast that he hadn’t thought to ask. The elder dwarf shook his head. Apparently, Dis did not feel that the child needed a name either._

_“Kili. His name is Kili.”_

_The young dwarf grinned from ear to ear. “That’s a good, name for him! He’ll grow into it.” He gently hugged the baby. “Love you, Kili!”_

_His heart hitching, Thorin could only keep the fake smile plastered on and nod. “I need to check on your mother. Will you be alright for a bit?”_

_Fili nodded, cooing at his brother. With a glance at Oin, Thorin stood and went into the room Dis was in and to her bedside. She lay on her side, her back towards the door._

_“Is it dead?”_

_Thorin was momentarily taken aback by the coldness in his sister’s voice. “He is alive. Fili is with him now.”_

_“You shouldn’t give my son such hopes.”_

_“I will not take away his dreams. The babe may yet survive. Kili is of the Durin line.”_

_“You gave it a name?”_

_“Aye- Fili asked.”_

_“You are a fool, Thorin.”_

_“Perhaps. But I am, at least, a hopeful one.”_

_Dis said nothing more, so her brother left her to her sorrows and returned to the living room. Oin looked up at him in a kind of awe._

_“The babe… he opened eyes!”_

_Surprised, Thorin once again sat by Fili, who was humming a lullaby. His brother stared at him with wide dark colored eyes, gurgling happily._

Fili had remained by his brother from that day forward. While it had been touch and go that winter, Thorin was certain that Kili had lived only for his brother, who along with Thorin had feed, bathed and cared for the small infant. It wasn’t until Kili’s first birthday that Dis finally held him.

Shaking his head, he moved to Fili’s side. “Go, help set up camp. I will watch him for now.”

Seeing that there was more to Thorin’s request, both Fili and Oin left to go see what still needed to be done.

Thorin looked down at his youngest sister-son. “How are you feeling, lad?”

Kili managed a huff. “Like I told Fili, I’m fine.”

“Then I fear the day when I see you ill…”

That managed to put a faint smile on pale lips. “I’m sorry, Uncle.”

“For what?”

“For being such a burden. On you. On the company.”

Thorin reached down to brush a sweat dampened lock behind Kili’s ear. “You have never been a burden Kili- only a blessing.”


	14. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Blood, violence, suggested non-con.  
> Mindless Babble:

Fili held his brother just a little tighter when he felt the shudder go through the slender body. He whispered nonsense and gently rubbed circles on Kili’s back. Even in sleep, the young dwarf clung to his brother’s tunic. Without even realizing he was doing it, Fili started to hum the lullaby he used to sing when his brother was younger and plagued by nameless fears. 

He closed his eyes for a moment, a moment in which he saw the terror on his brother’s face as they were pulled apart, completely unnoticed by the battling stone giants. He had never seen such an expression on Kili’s face and he hoped never to see it again. The pain, fear, helplessness…

His eyes snapped open when he heard the ever so soft whimper.

“Shh, Kili. It’s alright, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere…”

Kili calmed some and Fili relaxed a bit. He looked up as their uncle approached and knelt next to the pair. He offered his eldest nephew some dried meat. 

“It’s not much but it’ll be something in your belly.”

Fili smiled and nodded his thanks. He took a bite, looking down at his brother. “I never want to go through that again…”

“Staring death in the face like that is not something most people would care to repeat.”

Fili shook his head. “No, not that- though it is on the list of things I am content with having done only once.”

Thorin looked at his nephew ruefully. “Then what are you referring to?”

“Kili. Seeing the look on his face, having to watch him react like this…” Fili looked up in time to catch the confusion on his uncle’s face. “He has been trying so hard to gain everyone’s respect as a fighter…”

“He has not lost their respect. The company knows how close the two of you are. They understand the fear of losing a brother.”

“I know that and you know that…but we are speaking of a dwarf who hid a serious injury from us, just so we would not think him weak.”

“We also are speaking of a dwarf that thought he should play a game with elves instead of getting treated for that wound,” Thorin pointed out. “You were forced to grow up faster because of me, and for that, I can never repay my debt to you. But your brother…he is young Fili, in his heart. He will probably always be like that.”

He looked around at the mess sleeping dwarves. “They will never lose respect for him. Of that, I am certain.”

Fili nodded. “Then I will remind him when he wakes.”

“And I will remind him that he will never loose mine, either.” Thorin smiled at the gratefulness on his nephew’s face. “Get some sleep. Morning will come soon enough.”

Fili nodded and curled around his brother as Thorin returned to his bedroll. The elder gently kissed the younger’s forehead.

“Love you, Kili.”

***  
He was hard pressed not to let the shudder of revulsion show. It had been bad enough being searched, poked and prodded by the goblins, but Kili was sure he was going to be sick when the Goblin King started singing merrily. The way the creature’s flesh moved made his skin crawl. The only thing that kept him rooted to his place was the anger he felt for this…thing that had threatened his uncle. He was glad that he was gritting his teeth so tightly, he could not speak.

At least until he saw the torture devices and heard the soft whimper of fear from Ori.

The King turned to the small goblin that was inspecting the weapons. “Just bundle those up and take them to my chambers!”

The goblin flinched and quickly did as he was told. The King returned his gaze to the company. He grinned as he searched out Ori.

“Now then…where was that little one…”

“He’s not the youngest! I am!”

Kili held his head high as he stepped forward and locked eyes with the monstrous thing that held them captive. Still, he could feel the stares of the dwarves upon him. He had heard the shocked gasp from his brother as well as the soft groan of horror from his uncle, but he ignored them. After his display of weakness that night, he felt he had to do something and simply telling the truth wasn’t that hard.

“Very well, then.” The King grabbed Kili by his tunic and threw him to the wood surface behind him. “If no one wishes to speak, let the games begin!”

Kili moved to stand up but a goblin stopped him, forcing the dwarf to stay on his knees. Even from his position, he succeeded in glaring up at the King who simply smiled.

“Strip him to his waist!”

His look of pure loathing never once wavered from the huge goblin. His head never bowed as his coat and new tunic were stripped from him, leaving him half naked and kneeling.

“Stop! I am the youngest!”

Kili’s head whipped to look at his brother and choked on the scoffing noise in his throat. His brother was wild-eyed and pulling against the goblins that held him.

The King turned a bulbous eye to the blond dwarf and grinned. “Perhaps, but this one spoke up first.”

Without warning, the goblin that stood behind Kili brought down a cat-o-nine-tails across the captive dwarf’s back. He cried out more from shock then pain. Though he was prepared for the next lash, he couldn’t stop the hiss of agony that slipped from his lips.

“Stop!” 

Kili lifted his head, surprised not only at who shouted, but also the pleading tone it had. Thorin, his eyes wide with more fear than when the Goblin King had mentioned Azog, struggled to stand.

“Please…take me instead! Let me take his place!”

“No, I don’t think so. You are too battle harden to break too easily. This one…well, I see he has already tasted a battle. And recently too. Unless you are willing to give me the information I seek, I have no use for you, Nobody.”

Kili slumped in relief, a pained smile on his face. His uncle would be safe from harm and perhaps be able to devise a way for the rest of the company to escape.

The King motioned for another lash across Kili’s back before he continued. “Besides, I would think you would want to thank me. If this one is not the youngest, he should be punished for lying to me. If he is telling the truth, then he has saved another from being beaten in his place. You dwarves still have pride, do you not?”

A goblin kicked the back of Thorin’s knees, causing him to collapse heavily. The King turned back to Kili, taking the young dwarf’s jaw and forcing him to look up. Caressing the short hairs on his cheeks with his bloated fingers, the massive goblin leered.

“Such a pretty face for a dwarf…” He chuckled softly. “Tell me, did you know that orcs were once elves?”

“That would explain why we hate them so much,” Kili rasped, still trying to catch his breath from the beating. He swore he heard Dwalin’s sharp bark of laughter mixed with Fili’s moan of misery at his brother’s impetuousness.

The Goblin King snorted. “They were tortured, mutilated and corrupted.” He pulled the dwarf up so his face was only a breath away from Kili’s. “I wonder what would happen if those same methods were used on a dwarf.”

“You’d get a meaner dwarf.”

The King laughed and threw Kili into the arms of waiting guards. “I like this one- he has spirit! Take him to my chambers.”

“And what of the others, Malevolence?”

He shooed them off with a gesture. “Take them to the dungeons. I’ll play with them later. After I break in my new toy.”

“KILI!” 

The young dwarf looked back to see his brother fighting with all he had to get to him. “Fili. Please…don’t fight. Just go with Thorin. Keep yourself safe.”

That took the combativeness out of the young heir. Kili had not made any promises that he would be unable to keep, resigning himself to his fate. Fili went limp with despair as the guards took him and the company away.

Kili lowered his head as the guard ushered him in the opposite direction. They took him to a large chamber that was little more than an over glorified cave. A large portion of the floor in the back of the cave was covered in furs and strips of cloth. To his horror, Kili realized that the pile of scraps was actually the Goblin King’s bed. Fear took hold of him and he started backing up, only to run into one of the burly guards, who sneered down at him. The goblin pushed Kili, causing the dwarf to stumble and fall.

“His Majesty wants you in here and here is where you’ll stay!”

Kili grinned up at the creature. “I don’t think so…” He stood up, a murderous grin on his face. In his hand was one of his brother’s beloved daggers. At his feet lay the bag of dwarf weapons as well as his uncle’s elven sword. “You should really watch where you push people…”

He lunged, slitting the goblins throat in one quick motion. He didn’t even wait to see if the creature fell, turning to gather the bag of weapons. He had to get to the others and quickly, before all hope of getting out of the mountain was lost.

“And what do have here?” The cold, watery voice came from behind Kili. “A child that thinks he’s a warrior?”

The dwarf spun around to face the King but was too slow. A bloated hand seized him by the throat and slammed him against the stone wall. The other fat hand snatched the blade from Kili’s hand. He clawed at the arm that had him pinned but it was no use.

“Let’s see what we have under here, hmmm?” 

Kili panicked as the blade moved down his chest and stomach, pausing just above the dwarf’s breeches. Then with a wicked grin, the King slashed at the gauze that held the bandages in place over the arrow wound, cutting skin as well. The wound was mostly healed thanks to the elven healers. The goblin looked disappointed.

“Hm. Maybe your arm would be a better place to start…” 

Another goblin that had come in with the King grabbed Kili’s flailing arm, pinning it to the wall. Grinning, the king took the blade to the bandaged arm. The dwarf tried to scream, tried to get away, but the blood loss from his back was making him weak and dizzy.

“Well, now. Isn’t this interesting…” The King inspected the barely healed runes. “It seems we have someone who enjoys inflicting pain on his own body. I believe I should give him a mark of my own! Hold him!”

The other gobbling grinned as he increased pressure on Kili’s arm. Dark eyes widened in fear and pain as the king took Fili’s blade and cut an ugly symbol into the flesh of the dwarf’s shoulder.

“There, you now carry the mark of my plaything.” The King grinned, finally releasing his hold on Kili. He let the young archer slump to the floor as he tossed the blade to the pile, shaking his head. “Broken already?”

He looked up as the earth shook. Frowning he turned to the other goblin. “Go and see what that was!”

The goblin hurried out but before the King could reach for the fallen dwarf, a goblin fighter barged in. “It’s the wizard!”

“Whaaa?!” Losing interest in his new toy, the Goblin King stormed out with the guard, leaving Kili alone in the room.

The silence of the room was broken with a soft moan as Kili came to. He sat up, wincing as the new wound made its presences known. Hissing as he tried to stop the bleeding with his hand, Kili struggled to his feet. The sounds of distant fighting reached his ears.

“Fili…” 

Without another thought, Kili grabbed the bag of weapons and stumbled out of the cave. He blinked as his vision double for a moment before he started down the rickety pathway that would lead him back to the throne, clinging to the bag in one hand and the rope barrier in the other. When he finally made it, the sounds of battle were close, which meant that Thorin and the other had not made good on whatever escape plan they had.

For as much as he wanted to keep going, Kili knew it wasn’t possible until after he allowed himself a minutes rest. He dropped to his knees, gasping for breath, his eyes shut tight against the pain. His hand brushed something soft, something familiar. Forcing his eyes open, he couldn’t help but to grin.

His elven made shirt.

He took the few seconds needed to slip it on, finding his coat and gauntlets as well. A familiar voice shouting orders spurred him back into action. His family and friends needed him; at least they would need the weapons he carried.

Once again, Kili struggled to his feet and raced as fast as he could towards the sounds of conflict.


	15. Bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Stupid dwarves ahead  
> Mindless Babble: Super short chapter but it has my favorite scene in it, one that if I had the money I would commission an artist to draw for me. Care to guess which one it is?

“We can’t just leave him here!”

“And what would you have us do? Go look for him in a city of goblins with no weapons?”

“Would you two keep please be quieter? We are in hiding, you know.”

Thorin and Fili glared at Gandalf, the younger dwarf breaking the silence first to hiss, “I will not leave my brother here!”

“Again- what can we do?” Thorin growled back, though he pitched his voice lower.

“I don’t -” The dwarf blinked, confused. He swore he heard…no, felt…someone call his name. Ignoring his uncle’s worried gaze, he turned and stepped out of the small cave they had been hiding.

“Fili!”

The blond dwarf shook his head and walked to the edge of precipice that their hidden cave resided by. Ignoring his frantic uncle trying to call him back to safety, he looked around but saw nothing save the narrow chasm that seemed to have no bottom.

_‘Fili…’_

The dwarf jerked as his soul heard the call only a heart could make. He looked up.

“Kili…” His dark haired brother grinned down from a ledge that was at least 30 feet above him and across the gully. He heard the company gather behind him, expressing their awe at seeing their youngest alive and free.

Kili grinned even wider as he suddenly chucked a large bag down to them. It landed, knocking over Dwalin, Bofur and Nori. Kili’s expression turned apologetic, though there was more than a hint of humor still left.

“The lad got our weapons back!” Dwalin grinned as he handed his king Orcrist. Weapons were quickly returned to their owners, Fili taking note of the still wet blood on his dagger.

The sound of goblin laughter sent shivers through the gathered dwarves. Fili turned back towards his brother, dread filling the pit of his stomach. His blue eyes widened in horror as he saw Kili’s only way off the cliff being blocked by a goblin hoard.

“Looks like your friends are waiting for you down there,” one of them said with a malicious grin as he approached the dwarf. “Maybe we should help and throw you to them.”

Impetuously, Kili laughed before shouting, “No one tosses a dwarf!”

Fili didn’t even have time to scream his brother’s name before Kili took a running leap off the cliff. For a moment, the world faded away and there was only Fili and his Kili. Two young children playing on the rocks behind their home in the Blue Mountain. Kili pretending he was the Lord of Eagles swooping down to protect the brave dwarf warrior Fili, from a pack of vicious toy orcs.

The moment ended as Kili landed in the arms of his brother and uncle, the trio falling to their knees. They spared a moment to hug their kin tightly, reassuring each other that they lived, before the screams of the goblins sent them into flight again.

“‘No one tosses a dwarf’, eh? I must remember to tell my son that one,” Gloin chuckled as he followed the young brothers.

Kili flashed a smile over his shoulder. “I’m sure Gimli will appreciate my humor!”

“At least someone will…” Fili said with a smirk.

“Less talkin’, more runnin’!” Dwalin ordered from behind them.

No less than ten dwarves smothered their moment of laughter, once again, taking up arms against the goblins.


	16. New Wounds, Old Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit  
> Warnings: Yeah, I got nothing for this chapter.  
> Mindless Babble: Happy Halloween! Here's your treat: the last chapter a week early.
> 
> And here's your trick: I probably won't be posting anything else for the rest of the year. 
> 
> The next part of this fic requires me to see the next movie. (Oh the suffering I go through for the sake of writing!) For those of you that follow me on Tumblr, you know of my project called 3013. I'm sitting at a little over 13,000 words and I'm only in chapter 3 so it will be a long time before I have this written out on ol' Lappy (it's completely written in my head). I have a side story for Crash, my modern AU, that will be a one shot and may be posted this year but I wouldn't hold my breath. 
> 
> So, Happy Holidays (all of them) and I'll (hopefully) see you next year!
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments and Kudos!

Bilbo sat on a rock by the bank of the river, trying to bandage his cut up hand. It wasn’t bleeding that much, but Oin had given him some salve to speed up the healing and the hobbit wanted to be able to keep it on for as long as possible without it getting wiped off by his clothing. The only problem was that he was trying, and failing, to wrap his dominate right hand with his left.

“Here, let me help you, Bilbo.”

He looked up and grinned to see Kili kneeling in front of him. “I thought I was alone out here.”

The youngest prince nodded and took Bilbo’s hand into his own. “I was hunting.” He nodded towards a trio of fat hares he had at his side.

“Ah, I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you bathing with the other dwarves.”

The dwarf smiled. “I had to while there was still daylight. I was hoping for something a bit bigger but…” He gave a one armed shrug with a soft chuckle. “I am no Great Eagle.” 

“Well, I think you did well. Besides, though it was quite pleasant to ride on something as soft as my feather bed back home, I think I shall stick to walking, thank you very much!” 

Kili chuckled. “It was still something, wasn’t it? To be so high up, feel the wind in your hair, the power in those wings?”

Bilbo smiled. “I would not have put it that way but then, that was never a dream of mine…”

Kili blushed, pausing in his work to look at the hobbit. “Balin used to care for me when Thorin would take Fili for training. We would go for walks and he taught me the names of all the local birds and what they sounded like.”

“Ah, you mean like barn owls and brown owls?”

Blushing even deeper, the dwarf returned to his task, though there was a shy smile on his lips. “Aye. I turned around and taught Fili. It became our code so we could warn or signal each other.”

Bilbo shook his head and looked down, watching as Kili tied off the gauze. “You have very gentle hands…”

The dwarf smiled. “I have been on the receiving end of being bandaged too many times. I prefer gentleness.”

Bilbo laughed. “I appreciate it as well. Thank you, Master Kili.”

The young dwarf dipped his head as he was still on his knees. “At your service, Master Boggins.”

Bilbo stood up, still smiling. “Well, I suppose you should take those hares to the others.”

Kili tilted his head a bit to look at the hobbit. “Would you mind taking them? I’d like take a turn getting clean and now seems to be as good as a time as any.”

“Oh! Of course! You certainly deserve it. I’ll make sure they save some for you.” He picked up the rabbits and found them to be almost as big as he was. He turned to make a comment about that but Kili was already heading towards the bank. Smiling, he slowly hauled the brace to the camp where he turned them over to Bombur and Bofur.

“An’ when did ye become a hunter, Bilbo?”

The hobbit shook his head at Bofur’s question. “These are from Kili. He went hunting while the rest of us got cleaned up.”

Fili’s head shot up from where he had been helping Thorin tend to his wounds. Bilbo was surprised to see the look of horror and worry on the young dwarf’s face, one matched by the exiled king.

“Where is he?”

Bilbo blinked owlishly and pointed. “Just a little ways over there, by the river.”

Fili glanced at his uncle who simply nodded. The blond was on his feet and sprinting as fast as he could to the spot Bilbo had indicated. The hobbit stood there, completely confused.

“Did I miss something?”

“Aye, ya did, laddie.” Dwalin spoke up from near the fire. “Ya missed the young’un being tortured by the Goblin King.”

Bilbo’s jaw dropped. “What? But he…there was no…he didn’t…”

“Aye- the lad has a special talent fer hiding his wounds.”

While the company nodded and murmured agreement, Bilbo had the feeling that Balin knew something more and decided to ask the elder dwarf when they were traveling again.

***  
By the time Fili found his brother, Kili had washed in the cool water and was just finishing bandaging his forearm. He was still naked from the waste up and the elder brother winced, the wounds on the archer’s back visible by the light of the full moon. There was a familiar jar on a rock and Fili picked it up as he approached Kili.

“Looks like Bilbo left some salve. Would you like me to put some on your back?”

Kili smiled over his shoulder as quickly he pocketed something. “You may have to sit on me then. That stuff stings!”

Fili chuckled as he knelt behind his dark haired sibling. “I know, but it will hurt less than if it gets infected.”

Sighing, the younger dwarf pulled his hair to the side and braced himself, hissing softly as his brother gently applied the ointment over the still oozing wounds. Blue eyes took in every mark, filling with tears.

“Kili…I’m sorry…”

“For what?” the other asked over his shoulder. ”You did nothing wrong.”

“I broke my promise to you. Not even two weeks after I swore to protect you and…and…” 

Kili shifted so he faced his brother and could cup the bearded face. “You never broke your promise to me. You were always with me, in my heart at least.”

As Fili returned the gesture, Kili lowered his eyes. “If anyone broke their promise, it would be me. I told you that I would be at your side, yet I told you to go.”

“No, Kili. You did what you had to do to protect me, Thorin and the rest. You were so much braver than I…”

The younger sibling finally looked up, catching the blue eyes of his brother. He smirked a bit. “What a pair we are, completely unable to keep a promise pure.”

Fili chuckled. “At this rate, Thorin will be the only one to keep his oath.”

“Ah, give it time. He may yet break it.”

“Who will break what?”

The brothers jumped at the deep voice and tilted their heads to look up at their uncle. Both flushed, a bit guiltily. Thorin only chuckled as he gingerly knelt beside them.

“You two were taking so long, I was getting worried.” He handed each of his nephew a skewer with roasted bits of meat on them which the boys took eagerly.

He watched them eat for a moment before he frowned. “Kili, are you not cold without your shirt?”

The dwarf looked surprised; his hunger overriding his other senses for the moment. Cheeks slightly pink, he twisted around to grab his tunic. Thorin inhaled sharply, catching sight of the sigil the Goblin King had carved into his shoulder as it was highlighted by the moonlight. He grabbed his young nephew, pulling him closer.

“Kili! Did that thing…Did he…” Thorin found he was unable to say the word, finding the thought of the youngest having to go through that unnameable horror. “Did he …touch you?”

Fili finally clued into what Thorin was asking, the blood draining from his face in horror. “Uncle…why would you even ask that?”

“It’s the mark.” The whispered reply came not from the older dwarf. Kili’s head had lowered, hair covering his shame filled face. “N…no…He didn’t.”

“You can tell us…”

The archer shook his head again. “He didn’t, really. I…I think he was going to, but then the ground shook…and…he left me…”

Thorin brushed back the dark hair, needing to see the beardless face. “He threatened you, though, when he gave you this mark.”

Swallowing hard, Kili nodded once, whispering softly. “With…with Fili’s knife.”

It was Fili’s turn to gasp in shock. “The blood…it was yours…”

Unable to hold back any longer, the blond leaned forward and carefully hugged his brother. With a broken sob, Kili fell against his sibling, whispering needless apologies. His throat tightening, Thorin let go with one arm to bring Fili into his hug as well. Out of instinct, he started to hum a haunting melody as he gently rocked the pair, something he had not done since they were both children.

‘Mahal! Is my family cursed to always suffer?’ Thorin thought as he buried his face in blond and brown hair. 

It was sometime before they returned to the camp, but that night, no power on Middle Earth could have forced Thorin to let go of his nephews.


End file.
